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don't ask don't tell on the military. she held a rally, to ask maine to vote for the bill that would allow this. do you think she is an effective advocate on this issue? or merely an attention-seeking distraction in the debate? tell us what you think at the "nightline" facebook page or the "nightline" page at abcnews.com. that is our report for tonight. i'm terry moran. for cynthia mcfadden and bill weir and all of us at abc news, good night, america. hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. with the sketchers resistance trainer. they're easy on your joints. a study shows you can burn more calories on average than in regular shoes. >> that means i can eat more food and still be ahead of the game? >> jimmy: yes, guillermo. do you feel like sketchers are

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tonight -- courteney cox! from "dancing with the stars" -- bruno tonioli! celebrity avenger jake byrd with paris hilton. and music from phoenix. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live and, now, walking this way, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, everyone, i'm jimmy, the host of the show.

thank you for having me over. thank you for coming. oh, we've got germans from france here tonight, we've got french people from turkey. we're all messed up. and it is a special night here at abc. it's the much anticipated return of "dancing with the stars." the 11th season of "dancing with the stars." and i think that's it. i think this is the final. i think after 11, we're out of stars. there aren't any left. this year, it's audrina partridge from "the hills." david hasselhoff. michael bolton, florence henderson, brandy, rick fox, kurt warner, jennifer grey, kyle massey, michael bolton, margaret cho and "the situation" from "the jersey shore" who will hopefully during the course of the show make bristol palin pregnant. how great would that be? i forgot one celebrity contestant. ♪

that's the dancing golden retriever. and they should have celebrity pets in this, right? [ cheers and applause ] so every year before the season starts i pick the contestant that i think will win it all. i usually don't pick the favorite. this year, brandy is the favorite preseason at 3 to 1. you can gamble on this stuff which, by the way, makes it a lot more interesting. i go on gut feeling. i make the pick before i see the contestants dance. and i'm pretty good at it. look at this. that's -- i picked helio castroneves. he won. i picked kristi yamaguchi. she won. i picked lance bass. he did not win. i picked the beautiful gilles marini. unfortunately, he did not win. i picked donny osmond. and, as you know, donny osmond won. i picked erin andrews last year.

erin andrews did actually not win. she came in third. every one of my picks has finished at least in the top three, except for ian zeroen who finished fourth so this is why i'm called nostradamus. like an oracle for this sort of thing. i think it's harder this year. i was up all night wrestling with this last night. which i know, it would be less gay if i was up all night wrestling a man. i was. after much thought and prayer, it is time for my pick. i wrote my selection down on a piece of paper. i sealed it in a briefcase. and then for safe keeping we staffed that briefcase inside security guard guillermo's mouth. and guillermo, do the honors, please. [ applause ] guillermo? >> jennifer grey. >> jimmy: jennifer grey.

[ cheers and applause ] jennifer grey will be receiving "dancing with the stars" champion. i was going back between her and kurt warner and brandy, kurt warner, i believe will be the final three, but jennifer grey will win the mirrored ball this year. [ applause ] i also realized today that i am the only person in the united states who still hasn't seen "dirty dancing." never saw it. just doesn't interest me. [ laughter ] margaret cho got off to a strong start. >> rick fox and cheryl burke! >> comedian margaret cho and louis van amstel. >> jimmy: there we go, 30 seconds in, she falls. that margaret cho, the first openly bisexual contestant since adam carolla back in 2007. so congratulations to them i guess.

bristol palin danced to the song "mama told me not to come" by three dog night. which is kind of like heather mills dancing to "she's got legs" by zz top. it's a strange choice. sarah palin, by the way, was not on hand to watch her daughter dance. she said she was going to be there to watch. this may have had something to do with why she didn't show up. sarah palin endorsed a woman named christine o'donnell in the republican primary for delaware senate. as a result of that endorsement, o'donnell won that primary. since then, we've been learning all sorts of wonderful things about her. last week, we learned that in the '90s she led a crusade against masturbation. and then this weekend, bill maher showed some video of her from his old show "politically incorrect." admitted in high school, she dabbled in witchcraft and had a date on a satanic altar. which means she now limited her group of potential voters to

satanists who oppose masturbation. after the show aired, she canceled her scheduled appearances on the sunday morning news shows. and is now -- she is now at a picnic try to explain this witchcraft thing with kind of a laugh. >> i was in high school. how many of you didn't hang out with questionable folks in high school? but no, it -- there's been no witchcraft since -- >> jimmy: i don't know -- [ laughter ] i don't know that i've ever heard a politician say "there's been no witchcraft since." oh, high school, wedgies and witchcraft. our band leader cleto and i went to high school together. remember our witchcraft phase? >> cleto: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: those are the women that sponsored us. there we are on our broom sticks. stirring the cauldron. there's been no witchcraft since. throw her in a lake, if she floats, she's a witch.

if not -- the democrats aren't even bothering to attack her because her fellow republicans are doing it for them. this weekend, former bush adviser karl rove went after her again. rove was on fox news sunday yesterday, uncharacteristically hammering away at his own party's nominee for joe biden's old senate seat. >> this new tape in which she said on the tv show "politically incorrect" in 1999 that she dappled in witchcraft, how damaging is that? >> my view, she can't simply ignore it. she has to deal with it and move on. she can't simply say, owe, these are unfact wall and not true and just ignore them -- [ laughter ] [ fr [ applause ] justin beeber is turning into a man. justin bieber was spotted at a hooters. call me old-fashioned. i don't think 16-year-olds should be hanging around

hooters. they should be at home with their friends doing witchcraft like normal people. supposedly, he stayed awhile. even serenaded the restaurant. here he is on his way out of hooter's. as you can see, he was temporarily blinded by cleavage. that will happen to a boy. who knows? there might be a little tiger woods hiding under that hair helmet. today, a bench warrant was issued for the arrest of lindsay lohan after she failed a court-ordered drug test last week. maybe this is what she meant when she said she wants to be more positive. i don't know. she's been ordered to appear in front of a judge on friday. she's probably going to get sent to jail. meanwhile, paris hilton will not go to jail. she pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor after being caught with cocaine in her purse last month on the strip. is it possible they are playing a very extreme game of truth or dare? your turn? the judge ordered paris to pay $2,000 fine. which i think is what one of her

shoes costs. and she also got a one-year suspended sentence and 200 hours of community service. which means if she's ever arrested for anything other than a minor traffic accident, she goes to jail for a year. here's paris in court this morning with the judge joe bonaventure. miss hilton, you are here by ordered to stay out of trouble. that means no new arrests. no new citations while this case is pending for at least one year. you've also agreed to make me your new bff, which entitles me to special hangout privilege, private tinkle bell time and a monthly pajama party. if you violate any of these term, you will be sentenced to one year in prison. do you understand that? >> yes, your honor. that's hot. >> jimmy: okay so -- it's been deemed hot so that will be good. [ applause ] if you've been paying attention to paris hilton's legal troubles over the years, you may know the

name jake byrd. jake byrd is a gentleman who we met outside the michael jackson trial. he was front and center when portion got out of jail in 2007. >> later that month, she pled into contest to a reduced charge. the dui charge had been reduced to an alcohol related reckless driving charge and we have someone behind me who's very excited that paris hilton has exited this jail. >> jimmy: yeah, that's jake byrd. he's a very, very big fan. it was no surprise when paris had her day in court this morning, in las vegas, jake byrd was there. >> i think paris hilton gets special treatment. because i would have dropped it, i'd be in jail right now. >> i don't think she's going to take this as a wake-up call. this is her third charge. i believe it's her third charge. >> i tell you what, the cast of "cocoon" is right.

this is a lady who showed the world and this is the thanks she gets. disgusting. >> every court's different. one judge facing one thing, one judge facing another, nonviolent crime. hope she gets her [ bleep ] straight and move on. >> exactly, stop framing the famous. this is a frame job. >> hey, get the hell out -- >> stop framing the famous! stop framing the famous! stop framing the farmless. stop framing the flamos. >> a, b -- >> i didn't know that! i didn't know [ bleep ]! i was trying to agree with you. >> i don't want to hear it. >> i'm here for jury duty. >> can i say something? stop killing our celebrities with your laws. i have a feeling you're going to get dismissed. >> you're coming close, pal. you're getting real close. >> i got it. the last time -- >> you're getting close to getting your [ bleep ] whooped. get out of here. tell them you're bothering me

that the interview. you got it? >> stop framing the famous! >> you listening to me? >> yeah, you said it. >> take your earphones off. i don't think you're hearing me. >> okay. >> stop bugging the interview. i'm going to go to metro and say you're bothering me, okay? would you like that? i'll walk over there right now. >> you're going to tell? >> yes. >> don't tell! please don't tell. oh, my god. don't tell! don't tell! >> that gentleman with the yellow t-shirt, the pants -- he's done it several times and i think he should be put in check somehow. >> her family has money but i don't think she's -- >> yeah, she's awesome, i agree with this woman. she's the best. is it really any of our business what she wants to shove up her nose? no offense. >> everybody's shoving it up their nose and i think it's crazy. >> nose is talking. >> 200 hours of community service. there's a drug counseling program. there's a $2,000 fine.

>> she spent her life servicing the community. >> anyway, you can interview him. >> that's what the judge says. that's what she gets. >> hey, are we okay? are we okay? stop farming the fleeless. stop framing the famous! yes, yes! ♪ there she is. you can't cage that white tiger. i'm high on you, paris. don't let them get you down, paris. they can't break that spirit. no way, baby. oh, my god, you look so thin, what's your secret? watch out, vegas. you want some gum, sweetie? paris is back, folkses. can i get a ride to gino? >> jimmy: here he is fresh off a nine-hour bus ride from vegas, jake byrd, everybody. >> usa, usa, usa!

>> jimmy: from "dancing with the stars," judge bruno is here. music from phoenix. we'll be right back with courteney cox. takes a special kinda loco to pass...initiation. where the sun's so hot it rains fire. and there's no calling for help -- only reception your phone's gettin' is an angry look. just when you can't take any more... you gotta eat the flame. [ male announcer ] subway has turned up the heat! introducing subway fiery footlong subs. the irresistibly hot new turkey jalapeño melt and the bold-acious buffalo chicken, eat bold! [ biker ] subway fiery footlong subs. ride hard. eat fresh.

>> jimmy: welcome back. with us tonight on the show, a man who made a pilgrimage from italy to the united states to fulfill a lifelong dream of making fun of our celebrities. from "dancing with the stars," judge bruno tonioli is here. then later on, from paris, the one in france, this is the latest album "wolfgang amadeus phoenix." from the bud outdoor live stage. see them live at madison square garden october 20th in new york city. i saw them at the hollywood ball. one of the best concerts i've ever been to and i've seen them

all, kids, i've seen them all. tomorrow night, the cast of "modern family" will be here. julie bowen, ty burrell, eric stonestreet and jesse tyler ferguson. later this week, from "the town," jeremy renner." from "the jersey shore," snooki. and joaquin phoenix will be here. and the music from trombone shorty from primus. and "science bob" pflugfelder will join us. our guest debuted on a brand-new show about the dating lives of attractive 20-somethings called "friend." now she's still on a show about attractive 20-somethingings. "cougar town" this wednesday night at 9:30. please say hello to courteney cox. [ applause ]

>> jimmy: it's good to see you. >> good to see you. >> jimmy: you get lovelier every time i see you. i'm not just saying that. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about "cougar town" because i heard that you guys were going to change the name to something else. >> we were. we were in search of a great title and we could not find one so -- >> jimmy: oh, no one asked me. i had a great one. >> what did you have? >> jimmy: cougar mellencamp town. >> why didn't we think of that? >> jimmy: why were you going to change the name? >> because it's not really about me dating younger guys. it's more about me and my kind of unique family and i think -- it's a terrible title really. >> jimmy: yeah what are you going to do? >> but it's a great show -- >> jimmy: we used to be live but we stuck with the name because we don't want to get new stationary. >> thank god it's not live. >> jimmy: how is your family,

your daughter cocoa, your insane husband david? >> insane. >> jimmy: still insane? >> yeah. my daughter's great. david is about to actually right next door it's going to start this new theater. it's called david arquette prevents beechers mad house. >> jimmy: at the roosevelt? >> at the roosevelt hotel. it's going to be this crazy theater where there's contortionists and burlesque dancers and puppeteers. a little person bar. >> jimmy: i bet there will be. >> when you order a drink, a little person will be lifted up and will fly to your table to deliver -- >> jimmy: will fly? really? >> yeah. i have met some of these little people because they're a part of the act. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they can drink big. >> jimmy: how are they flying? are they attached -- >> they'll be attached to a wire. they might fly themselves. i'm not -- >> jimmy: that sounds like the greatest thing ever. >> it's like bringing back -- it's never been done. it's huge. i can't imagine. it's going to be --

>> jimmy: it's like the circus in the '20s before there were lawyers and human rights. >> but it's right up david's alley. >> jimmy: sounds like it. so david is involved in that? >> david is involved in it. a comedian named jeffrey brieecr who has been doing the show at hard rock in vegas for years. now you add david's personality. i can't imagine. it's beyond my comprehension. i'm so dull compared to david. >> jimmy: you seem like you're just barely able to tolerate david's antics in general -- >> i'm just so on the verge. no, he's great. but -- >> jimmy: he is a lot of fun. maybe too much fun. >> he's so much fun. but my daughter woke up this morning and -- i buy nice clothes for my daughter. and she was wearing these, like, little leggings with -- they were blue plaid and a lime green shirt and purple sneakers and i looked at her and she go, mom, don't worry about it, daddy likes my style. i was like, ooh.

i'm in trouble. >> jimmy: she's going to be on a wire serving drinks to people. >> she is. yes. >> jimmy: do you -- you and david came over to my house and i learned something very interesting about you. is that you are -- you can play the drums well too, not just, like -- pretty -- i mean, definitely -- >> i can keep a beat. >> jimmy: they're my dreams and you play them better than i do. >> you have so many instruments. that was the most fun. >> jimmy: i don't play any of them really. i have them there. there you are working -- [ cheers and applause ] and look at the mad man next to you. [ applause ] trumpet. now, is it true you learned to drum from john stamos? >> yes. well, the -- where i originally learned my first drum beat is my step cousin is stewart of the police. >> jimmy: that's pretty good.

>> i can't play -- i only learned one beat from him. then, yes, john stamos did help me learn how to play the drums. he was at the party. howard stern sitting there. i'm a huge howard stern fan, love him. but i was like, dude, let me get on the drums. move over. >> jimmy: yeah, you jumped in there. >> i kicked him right often, hiked up my skirt and there i go. >> jimmy: and david is playing the trombone and trumpet. >> there were choices. >> jimmy: so much enthusiasm combined with so little musical ability in that room. >> it was unbelievable. it really was. >> jimmy: it really was something else. >> bill lawrence, who's the creator of the show, was there -- >> jimmy: of "cougar town." >> yeah, of -- you no jimmy's live band show. yeah, when are we get together again, by the way? >> jimmy: i don't know if it can ever be topped. we may just have to put it to rest. >> he ended up writing it in the show, that i played the drums

after that. >> jimmy: based on that -- >> he sees me do something that end the next thing you know i'm doing it on the show. >> jimmy: what else has he done like that? >> we always have people over on sundays and i do like wrine. i like red wine. now i am like an absolute alcoholic on the show. i pour a nice glass. now, he has me pouring it so high you have to lean over to drink it. i looked at the script. i'm like, i need big joe. big joe is a glass this big of red wine. i'm like, it's only one glass. so he thinks that de he takes my life -- >> jimmy: he's spying on you and working it into the script. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: i think you could probably sue him for that if you wanted to. >> not a bad idea. >> jimmy: everyone must have been very excited that you and jennifer aniston were getting together to reunite on set of your show. did people -- like extra people show up and -- to look at you guys -- >> well, everyone was there and

it was exciting. just to work together again was great. and -- well, i looked around and lisa kudrow's stand-in is a stand-in on "cougar town." my stand-in from "friends" was there. the first a.d. was there and bill lawrence was a writer on "friends" so it was kind of like this weird little thing that so many people were there and it was great. >> jimmy: you guys have stayed obviously friends, friends, over the years. >> stayed friends for many, many years. >> jimmy: so when you get back in the scene, do you feel like it's we're right back to normal, it's where we picked up? >> it was nice to play different characters too and not be referred to as rachel and monica. although one of the director, michael mcdonald, now a producer, the first time he directed, he said, listen, courteney, i didn't see that much "friends." i don't know that much about it. i said, that's okay, it was only on for ten years. twice a day still. >> jimmy: one of the most

popular shows ever. >> that's all right. but literally like after saying he doesn't watch it, said, so, now, monica, when you start over there -- and i said, no, no, i'm playing jewels. he get so nervous he kept calling me monica, like four times that day. but it was nice to play jules and jennifer's character which i can't remember at the moment what it's called. what was her name on the show? we'll learn it in the clip. it airs tomorrow. >> jimmy: we have a clip. we'll learn -- >> what's the character's name? >> jimmy: we'll find out. if we have to, we'll call david. a tip from tomorrow's edition of "cougar town." take a look. >> actually, things are going really well with grayson. >> that's great. who's grayson? >> my boyfriend. >> didn't he try to choke you? >> there's no choking. maybe once but i asked him to. >> i must be confusing you with another patient. >> you should probably take some notes. >> go on, tell me about gordon. >> grayson.

>> grayson. fun name. share. >> jimmy: well, we still don't know her name but she's apparently your psychiatrist. >> apparently. i was drunk the whole time. >> jimmy: double joe or whatever you got going there. >> big joe. >> jimmy: please give my regards to david. >> i will. >> jimmy: and his little people -- his band of little people. it's great to see you. courteney cox, everybody. tomorrow, "cougar town," on abc at 9:30. be right back with bruno tonioli. ♪ i want a girl with the right allocations ♪ ♪ who's fast and thorough ♪ and sharp as a tack ♪ she's playing with her jewelry ♪ ♪ she's putting up her hair ♪ she's touring the facility ♪ and picking up slack ♪ i want a girl with a short skirt ♪ ♪ and a long lonnnng jacket

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>> jimmy: there. we're back. our next guest separates the yamaguchis and the osmonds from the master p's. he presides over a new crop of celebrities on this seasons of "dancing with the stars." please welcome judge bruno tonioli! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: i should give you a score. >> i'm just messing around. it was such an amazing night. >> jimmy: you're a good dancer. i forget about that. >> when i was a kid, i was a -- i always had it. and i'm ready to give it. >> jimmy: this is your 11th season of "dancing with the stars." >> 11th. >> jimmy: you still have not won. >> what do you mean! i'm not there to win it. i am there t participate. >> jimmy: you also do the british version of the show. >> at the same time. >> jimmy: you zip back and forth? >> to london every week. i start the week after next tuesday night after results. i get on the plane, london, two shows, back here, two shows. >> jimmy: len too. >> len as well yes. >> jimmy: what happens if a flight is delayed or the weather is bad? >> i stay here. i love to stay here. >> jimmy: is there some backup plan? >> no, there isn't, we just hope for the best. >> jimmy: i guess you have to.

>> it is life. if you think, oh this is going to happen, you're never going to do anything. >> jimmy: the last time you were re, you, as i recall, said, i asked you who the worst conte contestant of all time was and you said it was master p. >> it still is. >> jimmy: kate gosselin did not change that? >> oh, think that -- she's very, very close. she's just bewildered, the woman. she's noan -- it's not her fault. she's not a performer. >> jimmy: it's america's fault for making her famous. >> i don't know why she's famous. i don't understand it. there's a thing i don't understand. because, see, my generations, we used to go to dance school, acting school, singing school. you became famous because you had some sort of talent. if you don't have talent, you don't become famous. there wasn't this kind of thing now. you do things. and you get tapes. and you get more coverage than people who work their asses all their life and they actually have talent.

>> jimmy: right. >> i think -- i don't get it. do you? well wishgs do you buy these bloody magazines and you keep these people on their front pages? >> jimmy: i don't know why we do it. >> i don't mind. there's always been this kind of interest in people's life and whatever. i mean, it's fine. but i think it's gone out of kilter because i know so many talented people, actors, singers, dancers, that they don't have a chance -- >> jimmy: for instance -- >> they get overseen -- what? >> jimmy: david hasselhoff. >> oh, the hoff. he didn't have a good night tonight. he didn't dance. >> jimmy: worsthan i thought he was going to be. >> he didn't dance. he tried his best. i mean, you've got to dance a little bit. >> jimmy: you do have to dance. it is called "dancing with the stars." >> it's "dancing with the stars." it's not "messing around with the stars." a lot of people mess around with stars in this town by the way. >> jimmy: briften palin, better or worsehan you thought? >> better. i thought she was going to be terrible. she was better than i thought. she has -- she's not a performer.

she has to learn how to kind of deliver a coherent performance, but actually she moved better than i thought she was going to. >> jimmy: the situation. do you watch "the jersey shore"? >> no, i don't. again this is -- i thought it was going to be a pratt, actually, really, again, somebody that -- owe, just get out of here. buthere is something there. that needs to be developed. >> jimmy: i thought he was okay. i mean, he only had five days to prepare, right? >> i can't say, you know, because you have five days, i score you higher than anybody else. i have to call on what i see. >> jimmy: michael bolton. >> oh, very tight. he's very -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's a good singer for a dancer. >> he's a brilliant singer. you have to translate the same performance ability to dancing as you do to singing. >> jimmy: oh, listen no one kns that more so than me. >> you're not tight, are you?

>> jimmy: i'm very loose. i might be a little jiggly. >> are you jiggly? >> jimmy: a little bit. >> are you a big boy? [ laughter ] i'm sorry, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you asking as a doctor or -- >> purely -- professionally for me. >> jimmy: you know what, you can be the judge. there's florence henderson. >> i'm looking forward to that. >> jimmy: she is america's most beloved sitcom mom. >> wonderful, wonderful lady. feisty. >> jimmy: pretty good. >> she was pretty good but she looked lost at moments. i think she has to get in the swing of things. has to become a swinger. >> jimmy: margaret cho. margaret cho had a little trouble walking in the building. >> terrible. what happened, i think she can dance but she's misjudged the whole concept of performance. all that rubbish. >> jimmy: -- with implements,

right? >> too many. >> jimmy: you got to dance. >> you got to dance. >> jimmy: this kid was really good, kyle. >> i absolutely adored him. >> jimmy: i don't ghknow who hes but he's funny. >> it doesn't matter. he's talented. >> jimmy: he's on a kid's show, that's why. >> brilliant. >> jimmy: this is my pick. jennifer grey. think she'll win this thing. >> it's too early. one dance. she did very well. >> jimmy: she was in "dirty dancing." >> what does that mean? >> jimmy: i don't know, i didn't see it. >> you're a liar. you say that for effect. >> jimmy: i didn't see it. >> everybody's seen -- >> jimmy: what about this guy? >> fabulous. [ cheers and applause ] still got it. still got it. >> jimmy: big boy. well, i tell you what -- >> don't you think that is attractive? >> jimmy: good lookingan. there's no question about that. >> i am sorry, it's because you had the cougar --

>> jimmy: do you, let me ask you something, are you naturally hairless or do you wax is this. >> i don't have any hair. you want to see it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'll show it to you. >> jimmy: wow, it's like the situation is here. you take it off. >> look. >> jimmy: oh, it's your nipple. >> i'm naturally hairless. >> jimmy: we learn something every night on this show. >> i have very soft skin. >> jimmy: he's hairless and soft. >> doesn't it feel good? >> jimmy: the hairless and soft judge bruno tonioli, everybody. we're right back with phoenix. [ male announcer ] at cheez-it, we expect a lot from our cheese... what do you call a cheese that isn't yours? i don't know. nacho cheese! [ laughs ] see, cuz' it's not your cheese but i said "nacho".

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i thought it was over here... ♪ [car horn honks] our outback always gets us there... ... sometimes it just takes us a little longer to get back. ♪

>> the jimmy kimmel live concert series sponsored by bud light. to stream off air performances and other music videos.

i can take one airline out... and another home. so with more flight options, i can find the combination that gets me there and back quickest. where you book matters. expedia. [ courier ] i'm a legal courier.

if i have to look at multiple cases, with blackberry torch i can have multiple tabs going, scroll over to it -- there it is. i call it a "future phone." [ laughs ] [ photographer ] i wanted to be able to show beautiful images on my phone. so it's kind of like bringing the two worlds together -- the world of the creative arts and the world of business. [ architect ] i love that i can type on a screen, or slide open to type on the pad. it's just super-rad. [ dj ] i'm not always gonna have, you know, two turn tables and a mixer. i love the music player on the torch. to create a playlist on your phone is amazing. [ veterinarian ] i bbm one of the doctors here quite a bit. she's a big cutie. "hey, can you look at these x-rays? what do you think about this case?" [ courier ] and it really makes me feel like this is my city, you know? it's awesome. [ laughs ] ♪ ♪

♪ woman: did you bring the camera phone? man: i did. do you wanna go first? i've been waiting for this all day. ok, this is from... aunt stacey. introducing chase quickdeposit. just photograph the front and back of your check using the chase mobile app on your iphone, and hit send. it went through. this is so cool. this is so cool. you wanna try it? yea. ok. make a depositght. from anytime--make a det with your iphone. to mister and misses walker. why would they send my parents a check? chase what matters. ♪

the jimmy kimmel live concert series sponsored by bud light. >> jimmy: this is their latest album "wolfgang amadeus phoenix." here with the song "lasso," phoenix! ♪

♪ where would you go ♪ not long ago ♪ i've been thinking out loud ♪ why so suddenly ♪ don't you know ♪ don't do it ♪ what you do oh what you do to me ♪ ♪ forever is a long long time ♪ when you've lost your way ♪ trying to follow your ideal ♪ oh sorry but your so-called life ♪ ♪ it is such a waste ♪ wear your real eyes ♪ no you don't realize ♪ what you say yes to ♪ but you say yes to ♪ where would you go ♪ where would you go with a lasso ♪ ♪ could you run into ♪ could you run into ♪ could you go and run into me ♪ where would you go ♪ where would you go tied up to

a lasso ♪ ♪ could you run into ♪ could you run into ♪ could you go and run into me ♪ cover your eyes when you said he was the one for you ♪ ♪ like to leave that ♪ so lonely so pretty ♪ not so well ♪ not so well ♪ where would you go ♪ where would you go with a lasso ♪ ♪ could you run into ♪ could you run into ♪ could you go and run into me ♪ where would you go ♪ where would you go ♪ tie up to a lasso ♪ could you run into ♪ could you run into ♪ could you go and run into me

♪ where your real eyes ♪ no, you don't realize ♪ what you say yes to ♪ but you say yes to ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ forever is a long, long time when you've lost your way ♪ ♪ forever is a long, long time when you've lost your way ♪ ♪ where would you go ♪ where would you go ♪ with a lasso ♪ could you run into ♪ could you run into ♪ could you go and run into me ♪ where would you go ♪ where would you go tied up to a lasso ♪ ♪ could you run into ♪ could you run into ♪ could you go and run into me

[ cheers and applause ]

man: we need a sofa. something i can stretch out on! woman: ooh... that will go with those lamps my mother gave us. or we could get some new lamps. or we could get no sofa. negotiating, eh? you got it! how about a nice home for our tv? how about doors to hide that drive-in theater? how about a cowhide rug? yee-haw! and the snacks? get their own place. let the marathon begin! >> jimmy: thanks to courteney cox. thanks to judge bruno. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, the cast of "modern family" and band of